Dear Straight People,
As a gay man living in Singapore, I am not permitted to seal the bond of love I share with my significant other (who, at the time of this writing, does not exist) in marriage. I can’t even be fully open about any relationships I step into, let alone tie the knot. I am thus indifferent towards marriage, for I don’t see the point in even dreaming about something I am denied.
With marriage not accessible to us, it is little wonder that many of us in the LGBTQ+ community are skeptical when it comes to matters of the heart. We’ve been conditioned to believe that getting married is the key script that leads us to the ultimate “happily ever after”: Getting attached, throwing a grand wedding banquet, applying for BTO, and finally, bearing children and starting a family. But when these very simple rights are denied from us, how does one build a “happily ever after”?
As our next couple Maisy and Dawn shows, we don’t need this script to pursue our lifelong happiness. There are other routes one can embark on to attain that elusive happily ever after.
Married life: Homosexual edition™
Together for the past 10 years, Maisy and Dawn made the life-changing decision to get married 2 years ago. And if there is one thing they’ve learnt, it is that they didn’t need the government’s sanction to build their happily ever after.
Now, I’m no expert on marriage, but I think it’s pretty clear that marriage is more than just a contract that binds two people. It is the ultimate form of commitment in a relationship. And this is not a promise to be taken lightly. Dawn reveals that even their “traditional” Asian parents have stopped viewing their relationship as “just a phase”, their marriage signifying their “commitment to one another”.
Thus, what we see is clear: there is no true difference between gay and straight marriages. Children can’t be naturally conceived between a gay couple, yet this does not detract from the core principle of marriage: the ultimate form of commitment from both parties to one another.
While gay and straight marriages are steeped in the same precepts, only one of them is officially recognised in the eyes of Singapore. Gay marriages like Maisy and Dawn’s are unfortunately not treated as official unions in Singapore, where the overarching social climate adamantly favours heterosexual relationships.
But who is to say you absolutely need the state’s support to build your “happily ever after”? Maisy and Dawn show us it is still possible to find happiness with your partner even without the government’s sanction, as they’re blessed by the support given to them by their families, friends, colleagues, and workplaces.
Whether we’re single or in relationships, many of us don’t think so far as marriage – simply because we live in a society that refuses us just that. And so we don’t plan ahead for our relationships, with no clear goals outlined to keep them going.
But if there’s one thing we can all take away from Maisy and Dawn’s story, it is that we don’t need the state’s support before we can plan ahead like any heterosexual couple. Maisy and Dawn found their happily ever after in the form of acknowledgement from the people around them. We hope their story inspires you to carve out your own path and build yourself a happy ending on your own terms.
WATCH THE FULL VIDEO HERE:
Support Dear Straight People On Patreon
Support Dear Straight People and our mission in telling stories that broaden hearts and open minds by joining us on Patreon!
From as low as $1 a month, you will receive access to patron-only content, behind the scene material and many other rewards: bit.ly/PatreonDSP