Dear Straight People,
Ever since I crawled out of the closet 2 years ago, I’ve found myself being bombarded with requests to suss out the sexuality of other men. More often than not, all I’m given is an Instagram profile.
Over the course of my ‘work’, there is one glaring distinction between the aesthetics of gay and straight men that I can’t help but notice. Gay men are just straight-up extra AF.
Here are 5 funny differences between gay and straight selfies inspired by real life examples that should elicit a chuckle or two out of you!
1. THE ‘I WOKE UP LIKE THIS’ SELFIE
It’s easy to see why the ‘I Woke Up Like This’ trend have stood the test of time to become a perennial classic among Instagrammers. It’s essentially a subtle thirst trap that people can tap on without appearing thirsty.
For most people, the key to nailing the ‘I Woke Up Like This’ selfie is finding the balance between being au naturel and looking flawless. But gay men aren’t most people.
Over the course of my online sleuthing, I’ve seen all kinds of ‘I Woke Up Like This’ shots that are neither subtle nor natural. That ridiculous pose you see above is inspired by an actual ‘I Woke Up Like This’ selfie from a fellow homosexual.
2. THE ‘I WENT TO A CAFE’ SHOT
Thanks to Instagram culture, cafe-hopping is arguably the national pastime for millennials.
But instead of striking a generic pose in front of the cafe entrance, gay men have somehow managed to reinvent the innocent ‘I Went To A Cafe’ shot into something far from innocent. Proof really, that gay men are the queens of thirst traps.
3. THE ‘INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE’ SHOT
If you’re ever in the mood to convey wisdom via your Instagram account, the generally accepted template is to find a clean backdrop and look at the floor with a slightly constipated expression.
Gay men however, by virtue of their existence, don’t do well with social norms.
When gay men feel the need to spout inspirational quotes, they seem to be inexplicably drawn to artsy poses and plant related props. After all, the best way to appear ‘deep’ is to take a photo that makes absolutely no sense at all.
4. THE ‘OOTD’ SHOT
There are #OOTDs. Then there are gay #OOTDs.
Gay men love shorts. I’m not talking regular shorts. But like, really short shorts that rise far above the knees.
Maybe they are just really proud of their legs. Or maybe, gay men just love being extra by rebelling against gendered fashion boxes.
5. THE ‘I WENT FOR A SWIM’ SHOT
Swimming pools are generally regarded as a space for exercising or socialising.
Gay men however, have managed to repurpose swimming pools into a photoshoot location for their topless selves. Simply hop onto any gay guy’s Instagram and you’ll realise a lot of the time, they aren’t even wet in their ‘I Went Swimming’ shot.
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