Dear Straight People,
Once upon a time not too long ago, publicly acknowledging a same-sex relationship would have been unfathomable for most gay couples.
These days however, publicly open same-sex couples are a dime a dozen. From YouTube to Instagram, the internet is crawling with openly gay couples. And one such couple that caught our eye was 32-year old Canadian couple Huey Tran and David Levesque.
Married for over 2 years, Huey and David are the very picture of marital bliss. But their overwhelming love for one another wasn’t the spark that grabbed our attention. Rather, it was the fact that they are an interracial couple who put themselves out there in a bid to represent and inspire other interracial couples.
We decided to put ourselves on social media to show more diversity to people and how just like them we are a normal couple.
In light of the recent racist comments made by
douchebag ‘comedian’ Steve Harvey about how unattractive Asian men are, a story like Huey and David seems especially fitting.
Born in Vietnam and raised in a conservative household, Huey Tran immigrated to Canada with his family when he was 14-years old.
Apart from having to adapt to an entirely different language and culture, he had to contend with his burgeoning sexuality as well. A late bloomer, Huey didn’t experience any sort of sexual attraction until he was 16.
I noticed myself paying more attention to the man while watching straight porn. At first, I immediately dismissed the thought of same sex attraction thinking it is just a phase that all boys go through.
I eventually moved on to watching gay porn, but the heavy guilt made me look at images of naked female bodies right after as an attempt to forget my “sins”.
By his mid-twenties however, Huey had come to terms with his homosexuality but found himself at the receiving end of discriminatory behaviour from the very community that he sought to belong to.
The sad truth is that I’ve been discriminated against for being asian by gay guys more times than I’ve been for being gay by straight people. Sometimes by my own fellow asians.
I remember many times I would message an attractive asian guy on Grindr and got the painful response of “Sorry, I’m not into asians”.
But just when Huey was about to give up on love altogether after several failed relationships, he met his prince charming in the form of Mr David Levesque.
Born in a small town with less than 2000 inhabitants, David experienced same-sex attraction when he was just 10-years old. Being different from the other boys, David was often bullied growing up. And it wasn’t just the other kids who bullied David. There were teachers who picked on him too!
People were not speaking about bullying as much as they are now and I was alone through all this. My parents didn’t take the bullying seriously.
So I was anxious going to school and I had lots of confidence issues.
It was only when David moved to a bigger city to further his studies that the bullying stopped.
Things do get better, you just have to make it through the dark moments.
Coincidentally, it was also in a big city that he met his future husband Huey.
How They Met
Based in Montreal at the time, David met Huey through Jack’d (a gay dating app).
Our love story began as a hook-up … or what was supposed to be a hook-up!
Huey and his friend were going to visit Montreal and his friend suggested he should find a guy that would let them crash at his place. That’s how we first started talking to each other.
Although Huey didn’t eventually make the trip to Montreal, sparks flew and they were soon exchanging texts on a daily basis. After two months of chatting online, they decided to meet in person to see if their online chemistry would translate to a real life setting.
Huey took the train (from Toronto) to come meet me in Montreal.
I remember how fast my heart was beating while waiting for his arrival. It was a little awkward at first having to transfer our conversation from texting to in person, but shortly after, it was almost as if like we’ve been together for a long time.
That night, we had our first date at a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant where we discovered our love for food (yes we know people eat to live, but we live to eat!)
Building A Life Together
Over the next year, Huey and David maintained a long distance relationship but the pain of being apart eventually became unbearable.
After giving it a lot of thought, we decided to make Toronto our home (mostly due to the fact that David is fluent in English and Huey does not speak any French).
Their next step then was to build a life together. But before they could do that, Huey had to come out to his mum first.
We were going to build a family together and David really wanted my family to be part of it.
So it was Christmas 2014 that I decided to sit her down and told her we’re going to have a “serious” conversation. At first she was panicking because she thought I was going to tell her I had some sort of terminal illness.
I was beating around the bush for a while because I couldn’t bring myself to say the words but when I finally did, she burst into tears. I asked her if she would have preferred me to have cancer instead – to which she silently nodded.
Her argument was that there is still a tiny chance of surviving cancer but there is no cure for homosexuality.
Happily Ever After
After many sessions with a psychiatrist and some deep conversations with other family members, Huey’s mum eventually came around.
I brought him home to meet her on Christmas 2015 and my mom instantly loved him.
After seeing our genuine connection and how truly happy we made each other, my mom was finally truly happy for us.
And she had very good reason to be happy for them. On 20th June 2015, David and Huey married one another at City Hall in Toronto. Since then, the pair have been actively documenting their married life together on Instagram and more recently, on their YouTube channel which they set up 3 months ago.
Huey and David have very kindly taken time out of their busy schedules to answer our Q&A so read on to find out more about the challenges of being an ‘intergaycial’ couple abroad!
1. How did the two of you eventually end up getting together?
After our initial meet-up, we decided to give long distance relationship a shot.
We took turn taking trips between Toronto – Montreal every other week so we see each other at least twice a month. The distance was not easy, but the hardest part was saying good-bye at the end of spending a weekend together. We knew we were made for each other but until we figured out what to do next, those weekends were what we were getting us through the days.
We kept this up for about a year, until we decided to make the big jump: one of us would have to relocate.
2. When and how did you two get married?
We originally did not want a party and and to just sign the paperwork at city hall but our friends didn’t let us have our way! They wanted to celebrate our special day with us (and we wanted that too, just not something extravagant).
So we had our ceremony at city hall with some close friends and family and a small reception of about 40 people that night at a cozy restaurant in downtown Toronto.
We were glad our friends pushed us to have the party because that was such a special night with so many memories .. and being able to celebrate so publicly with our friends and family, we considered ourselves very blessed.
3. What are some of the challenges of being an ‘intergaycial’ couple?
One of the more obvious challenges we face on a daily basis is the uncomfortable stares from other people, especially when we hold hands in public. I guess being gay and being interracial were both taboos of the past so some people are still not accustomed to seeing us as a couple.
Another common challenge is the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) racism directed at us. Since we are quite public with our relationship on social media, a lot of time we would get comments like “you’re too hot to be with an asian guy”, etc.. which can be very hurtful, no matter how hard you try to not let it affect you.
4. What’s your advice to other ‘intergaycial’ couples?
Our biggest advice to other ‘intergaycial’ couples out there is that DO NOT let other people dictate your relationship.
You will encounter a lot of haters trying to invalidate your relationship but ultimately, your love and respect for each other are the only things that matter.
6. What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about ‘intergaycial’ couples?
The biggest misconception people usually have is when they see two people of different races together, they automatically assume the relationship is based on a fetish.
7. Is there anything else you like to add?
We encourage other ‘intergaycial’ couples out there to come forward and share their stories with the world, not to seek validation but rather to showcase how beautiful interracial love can be.
After all, the more people are exposed to diversity, both in life and in love, the more enriched their lives will be.
Once again, Dear Straight People would like to thank Huey and David for sharing their story with us.
You might also like to read: