Lery Villanueva – Letter To My Closet

Lery Villanueva from the Philippines, pens a candid letter detailing how he managed to overcome his dark youth to become the proud gay man he is today.

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Closeted FB Cover Lery

Dear John, Lery, John-John,

I wanted to ask you if you’re okay and doing well but for sure you’re not. You’ve endured a lot, experienced unexplainable things, rejected and drowned in sorrow but please keep going, don’t ever give up even though deep inside you already want. 

From all the sleepless nights you’re going through, all the voices in your head that keep shouting “end it”, “no one appreciates you”, “go kill yourself”, “get the knife and stab yourself”, “jump off the building” and all the other screams you hear in your head making you insane. I know all these things are haunting you every day. You want to get help and talk to your family or friends but you know they won’t understand.

I know you don’t trust anybody at this point and you feel like you have no one to turn to, that you are all alone in this battle. Battle against society, battle against your family, battle against your friends, and especially battle to your own self.

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You smiled, you laugh, you grin even you know it’s not alright.

You never said a sentence nor a word on all the judgments that you’ve heard, instead, you accepted it and moved on.

You always wanted to make them happy even though they never asked if you are okay.

And you shouted, you cried, you ran away, you got angry, you cursed but you never gave up.

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And I’m glad that you made the right choice, that you’ve continued to keep going, that you were stronger than I thought you were, despite all the sleepless nights, the voices in your head and your battle to yourself, you still managed to stand and walk with your feet. Nobody knows the pain you’re going through but I know you can get through it.

They say “pain changes a person” but for you, it made you stronger. It gave you the strength to come out and tell them who you really are. That you are proud that you are gay, you can be respected, loved, and can be happy. I’m so glad that you didn’t give up while you were in the closet that you are strong and managed to overcome all the judgments and the labels that society is engraving on you and I’m happy to tell you that the people surrounding you are understanding and loving, and they accepted you for being who you are.

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The dark days are gone and the hiding is over. You can now go and spread your wings and flourish in this world with positivity, hope, and love. Continue to be that loving person with a big smile despite everything, always think that everything will be alright and the person who never gives up and always keeps going.

You may stop and take a rest for a while but continue the battle and never lose faith in yourself and the people around you because there’ll be that day that they will accept you, maybe not today or tomorrow but it will come.


DSP Author Lery
Written by Lery Villanueva: @hileryous

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