Are you the first actress to come out publicly in Singapore?”

My next interviewee laughs heartily at the question, letting out a loud guffaw. “No la” she exclaims, waving off the notion. It’s 2024, after all. Surely, there must be another ‘out’ actress in Singapore by now.

But as I press her on who these ‘out’ actresses might be, her laughter fades, replaced by a thoughtful, contemplative expression. Moment by moment, her look of amusement gives way to one of incredulity, as the realisation dawns on her: she may indeed be Singapore’s first openly gay actress.

Dear Straight People,

Meet 44-year old Singaporean Deborah Sim.

From 1997 to 2000, Deborah was a full-time artiste with Singapore’s national broadcaster. While her stint as an actress wasn’t exactly long, Deborah has left an indelible mark on the industry. Many of the dramas that she has starred in, from Return Of The Condor Heroes to Stand By Me, have since gone on to become local classics. 

Despite being out of the public eye for over two decades, it seems like the general public hasn’t yet forgotten her. Her recent appearance on actress Constance Song’s Facebook Live, alongside fellow actress Cassandra See, sparked a wave of nostalgia and made headlines on entertainment platform 8Days.

This time, however, Deborah is not just making a brief return to the spotlight. In the spirit of Pride Month, Deborah Sim is coming out publicly to share her story.

How Deborah Sim Entered Showbiz

Like many actors of her generation, Deborah got her start in showbiz through Star Search, where she was a finalist in the 1997 edition. Alongside fellow finalist and future BFF Constance Song, Deborah secured an acting contract and began her acting career shortly thereafter.

Reflecting on the industry back then, Deborah notes that auditions were a rarity.

We don’t really go for auditions unless it’s for a movie or for an overseas project.

Within the TV station, producers would usually fix and throw you your role.”

With KPIs to meet and fierce competition, Deborah humorously recalls how artistes would vie for roles.

I’m not sure how they work now.

But back in my time, we would do the ‘catwalk’ in the office to remind Executive Producers that we still exist in the company.”

Despite being a newcomer, Deborah managed to secure a steady stream of roles, appearing in an average of 2 to 3 dramas a year. In her debut year, she even snagged a nomination for ‘Most Popular Newcomer’ at the 1997 Star Awards.

Acting As Lan Caihe – A Genderfluid role

One of Deborah’s most notable roles was as Lan Caihe in the popular television series “Legends of the Eight Immortals.”

What made the role of Lan Caihe particularly interesting was that it was a genderfluid role. The gender-variant immortal is often cited as an example of LGBT themes in Chinese mythology. In retrospect, it seems almost fitting that Deborah was cast in this role.

Despite the apparent coincidence, Deborah reveals that she identified as straight during her time as an actress. In fact, she even dated a fellow actor, whose name she declines to reveal.

It wasn’t until her mid-twenties that Deborah began questioning her sexuality.

Sexual Awakening In Her Late Adulthood

After bidding farewell to the TV station in 2000, Deborah ventured overseas in search of greener pastures.  It was during this time that she experienced her first lesbian crush.

When I moved to Taiwan, I met this Hong Kong stylist, and that’s when I felt this strong attraction.

The feelings grew, and I started asking myself, ‘Am I bisexual?’”

Although the Hong Kong stylist reciprocated Deborah’s crush, nothing happened between them. Deborah would subsequently return to Singapore, where she dated both men and women.

By her late twenties, Deborah had come to terms with her sexuality and embraced her truth as a proud lesbian.

I had an awakening where I realised that I prefer to be with a woman both emotionally and mentally.”

Coming Out – Her Mum Threatened To Kill Herself

One of the first people Deborah came out to was her BFF and actress, Constance Song.

She was totally cool with it. I was so worried she might think differently of me but she assured me I was just being silly.

I guess in our line of work, everyone is more open minded.”

While coming out to her friends was relatively easy, her parents were a different matter.

My mum didn’t take it very well. She was like ‘I’m going to kill myself if you are going to be with a woman.’

I don’t like to be threatened and I was like no matter what, I’m still your child.”

Although her mum didn’t come around immediately, Deborah’s brother was incredibly supportive, despite being a staunch Christian himself.

Happily Attached To Her Partner Of Over A Decade

Fast forward to today, and Deborah’s entire family has come around. Even better, both her parents and her partner’s parents fully accept their relationship.

Happily together for 12 years and counting, Deborah shares that she met her partner during a night out in Singapore. The couple now live together, and it’s not just their immediate families who acknowledge their relationship. Even their extended families are accepting.

While Deborah lives her life openly and authentically, many of her peers do not. 

Singapore Actors Live In Glass Closets

Despite Singapore’s status as a first world country, the entertainment industry remains entrenched in conservatism.

When you think about ‘out‘ actors in Singapore, only a few names come to mind, such as Steven David Lim. Compared to neighbouring countries like the Philippines or Thailand, Singapore lags far behind in terms of queer public figures.

This is somewhat ironic, considering that Singapore has no lack of gay actors. However, most of them live in glass closets. What this means is that they live their lives freely in private. Many are in long-term relationships. Some even attend queer events openly. But they will not come out publicly for fear of risking their livelihood.

Based on Deborah’s insights, understanding the local showbiz dynamics helps clarify why there are so few ‘out‘ actors in Singapore. According to Deborah, auditions were rare during her time in the industry. This suggests that the casting process might not always function as a meritocracy where the best actor gets the job. It’s about who the producer chooses to cast.

If a working actor comes out in Singapore and faces significant backlash, it’s safe to say that no producer in their right mind will cast him or her. That’s why the only ‘out’ actors in Singapore are those who have long left showbiz.

Coming Out – There’s Strength In Numbers

While it’s understandable why a working actor may not want to come out publicly in Singapore, it’s interesting to note that many artistes who have long left showbiz also choose not to come out publicly. This reluctance persists even when their professional stakes are ostensibly lower.

Some don’t want to anger their parents by bringing shame to the family. Others simply don’t see the point.

So I ask Deborah whether she thinks public figures in Singapore have a responsibility to come out.

I wouldn’t say it’s a responsibility, but I do encourage people to come out. If you don’t try, you won’t know, and why care about what other people might think?”

Whether the outcome is good or bad, at least you live your life the way you really want it to be.”

Deborah goes on to emphasise the power of collective action.

If everybody comes out together, we would be a stronger force. The visibility and solidarity would create a more accepting and inclusive environment for everyone.” 

What’s Next For Deborah

Currently working a corporate role in the oil industry, Deborah has gracefully stepped away from the world of acting. But Deborah is far from idle. Despite her corporate job, Deborah is channelling her creative energy into exciting new ventures.

Deborah is developing a gender-inclusive fashion line she affectionately calls Shock Mirror. Scheduled for launch in the last quarter of this year, Shock Mirror promises to be a refreshing addition to the fashion landscape. While the line isn’t available just yet, you can stay in the loop by following @shockmirrorofficial on Instagram. Be among the first to know when this exciting new fashion brand launches later this year.

In addition to her upcoming fashion line, Deborah also sells exotic plants through P.O.P (Plants Of Paradise). Ranging from a few dollars to thousands, P.O.P sells directly through social media, pop-up events, and live sales streaming. You can find out more by following P.O.P via @plantsofparadise.sg on Instagram or TikTok.

Deborah’s feature is more than a coming out story; it’s a call for progress. In a world where visibility equals progress, Deborah’s journey serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of living authentically. 

Hopefully one day in the not too distant future, Singapore will boast more than a handful of ‘out’ actors.

Once again, Dear Straight People would like to thank Deborah Sim for sharing her story with us.

If you would like to keep up to date with how Deborah Sim is doing, you can connect with Deborah on Instagram via @debswonderland

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