How Grindr Turned Me Into An Asshole


Dear Gay People,

I have a confession to make… I am an asshole on Grindr. And if you ever meet me on Grindr, chances are that you’re probably going to hate me.

But I wasn’t always like this.

Once upon a time, I used to be a ‘Mr Nice Guy’ on Grindr. I made an effort to reply every message that was sent my way, even if I wasn’t the least bit interested in them. But time and again, my good-manners were reciprocated with conversations that went like this:

Random Grindr Dude: IMG_1836



Random Grindr Dude:

Top or bottom meme


Source: NBC
Source: NBC

And you know what, after a while, I got really fed up with trying to engage with people who obviously didn’t see me as another human being. Instead, I was perceived as just another tab on their browser. Another piece of meat on their phone screens. My attempts at having a decent conversation with them was often met with all sorts of intrusive questions. There was this sick sense of entitlement that a lot of gay men seem to have. They didn’t see anything wrong with asking me intrusive questions because for some inexplicable reason, they believed that anyone on a gay app is obligated to reveal everything about themselves.

So since they didn’t treat me like a human being, I stopped treating them as human beings too. I started ignoring messages from everyone that I wasn’t interested in. And this tended to lead to monologues that generally looked something like this:

Source: grindr–

After a while, the deafening silence from my end eventually pisses them off enough for them to label me as ‘rude’ and ‘arrogant’ like this incredibly self-entitled guy here:

Bad pick up line

So all in all, I am #sorrynotsorry that I behave like an asshole on gay apps like Grindr.

Yeah I'm an asshole

I mean, let’s face it. While Grindr markets itself as a dating app, we all know Grindr is really more like a hook-up app. It’s where guys go to when they want to have fast food sex. The majority of guys on Grindr aren’t interested in having meaningful conversations. They don’t see other guys there as people, but rather as potential sexual partners. So rather than waste my time entertaining rude people who only want to add me to their list of sexual conquests, I rather not give them any attention at all because frankly, most of them don’t deserve it.

And honestly, I really think it’s time people on Grindr start perceiving silence as a form of reply too.

You might also like to read:

12 Of The Worst Grindr Pick-Up Lines Ever Used

10 Types Of Guys You See On Grindr

12 Things Gay Guys Say Vs What They Actually Mean

If you like what you read, follow us on Twitter and sign up for our mailing list to get the latest updates!

3 comments on “How Grindr Turned Me Into An Asshole”

  1. That sick sense of entitlement isn’t a gay man thing. It’s just a man thing. A female friend showed me messages she received on her dating app. The thing is if you bumped into one of those guys in the street he probably wouldn’t behave anything like that. So please don’t become a grindr asshole.

  2. I dont think it is Grindrs fault that youre rude. It is YOUR fault that you have turned like that because you allowed the negativity eat you and eventually turned you into a monster. Now you’re blaming other people for your own behaviour?! Maybe instead of writing a piece of ‘article’ justifying why you shouldn’t be blamed for your attitude, perhaps you should just take ownership and make a public apology instead. It is the people like you who tarnish the LGBT community’s reputation.

Leave a Reply