How To Become High-Profile

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Dear Gay People,

If you want to climb the imaginary gay social ladder, then you’ve come to the right place. This article will teach you everything you need to know about becoming ‘high-profile’ in the gay scene. By ‘high-profile’, I mean a lot of people in the gay community will know who you are but no one else will.

So anyway, the very first thing you need to do is whore out your Instagram! This can be done by:

Taking selfies all day, err day:


And while you’re at it,  post some topless selfies captioned with motivational ‘deep’ quotes that you can easily steal from Google


And of course, just shamelessly spam hashtags like #follow followme #pleasefollowme #prettypleasefollowme


Please note that the whoring out your Instagram tactic only works if you have the face of Godfrey Gao or the body of Zac Effron. If you have neither of those, then some drastic measures may need to be taken. There is a very complex ritual that can be performed to achieve ‘high-profile’ status. Not many people know about it but trust me, by the end of the ritual, you’ll be a lot more enlightened about what it actually means to be high-profile.

Firstly, find a bucket and fill it with water. If there happens to be a kitten in it, please take it out first.

Source: Tumblr
Source: Tumblr

Next, take the bucket filled with water and dump it over yourself.


I hope that all that cold water has finally woken you up.

If your goal in life is to become a high-profiler, you really need to re-evaluate your life. Now don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ‘high-profile’. But it shouldn’t be something that you’re actively working towards to. The gay community is a very small community so it honestly isn’t much of a feat to become ‘high-profile’ in the gay scene. Apart from never having to worry about not being able to hit 11 likes on Instagram, there really aren’t that much benefits to being high-profile. So there really isn’t much point to having thousands of followers online when no one in real life knows who you are. Instead of trying to gain more online followers, I think it’s a lot wiser to try to make more real life friends instead.

I’m sorry if the title was a bit misleading and you didn’t get to find out the secret to becoming high-profile through this post but really, you shouldn’t be clicking on posts like these in the first place.

You might also like to read:

Dear Gay Men, Stop Hating On High Profile People

10 Struggles Of Every Gay High-Profiler

18 Funny Gifs That Describes My Typical Night Out At A Gay Club

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