What It’s Like When You Fall For Your Straight Best Friend


Dear Gay People,

Falling for your straight best friend is one of the oldest clichés in the gay book. And yet, time and again, it keeps happening. Maybe it’s the lure of the forbidden fruit that our innate human nature finds irresistible. Maybe it’s due to the emotional intimacy of the friendship. Maybe it’s because gay people simply develop feelings way too easily. Whatever the case, falling for your straight best friend is one of the most torturous things that can ever happen to a gay person.

Although we know that our straight BFF is unattainable, somewhere along the way, we stop listening to reason and let our hearts take over. Somewhere along the way, they become the person we want to spend every waking second of our lives with. And before we know it, we realise we’ve fallen for them.

The second you fall for your straight best friend is the second you subject yourself to the deepest levels of emotional hell. You start to lose yourself in fantasies of what-ifs. You start to convince yourself that hey, maybe they’re gay too. I mean, why else would they be so nice to us?

We become obsessed with trying to find out if that’s indeed the case. We start to overthink every single thing they’ve said. Overanalyse every message they’ve sent. All in the hope of finding a single shred of evidence that maybe, just maybe, they too are gay and we would finally be able to turn our fantasies into reality.

But then more often than not, our straight BFF is really what they say they are; straight. So we start to develop a weird love-hate relationship with them. We hate them for giving less to the friendship than we do. We hate them for not looking forward to our meet-ups as much as we do. We hate them for not wanting us the same way we want them. But most of all, we hate ourselves for being so stupid for falling for them in the first place.

Source: FOX
Source: FOX

Yet, at the same time, we can’t help but continue to love them. We are there the second they need us. All because we know that deep down, it’s not their fault that we let ourselves fall in love with them. And so we resign ourselves to an abyss of emotional hell, in one of the worst states of friendzone someone can possibly find themselves in. And yet, unless we are prepared to cut them out of our lives completely, there is little that we can do to pull ourselves out of the hole we’ve so stupidly dug ourselves into.

So unless you want to find yourself in the above scenario, the minute you find yourself developing feelings for your straight best friend:


Sean Foo Author Title
Written by Sean Foo: @mrseanfoo

Support Dear Straight People On Patreon

Contrary to popular belief, content creation takes up considerable time, effort and resources. Support Dear Straight People and our mission in telling stories that broaden hearts and open minds by joining us on Patreon!

If you like what you read, follow Dear Straight People on Facebook, Instagram via @DearStraightPeopleIG and do subscribe to us on our YouTube channel!

13 comments on “What It’s Like When You Fall For Your Straight Best Friend”

  1. Oh, this takes me back to senior year in high school.
    I was in the closet but, I so hoped this guy had feelings for me like I had for him.
    He didn’t. He got a girl friend and we slowly drifted apart.

  2. It’s one of the worst experiences in the world and unfortunately many gay guys struggle through it (especially in school!).
    I had feelings for my straight best friend that I’m sure in some way were reciprocal, but ultimately led me down a dark path. The only thing to do is distance yourself from the situation. Luckily I’ve moved on, but there is still a bit of a sting when I think about it!

  3. Even after reading this article I’m still nor ready to confess to my best friend I’ve already decide that I will be his best friend if I can’t be his boyfriend as long as have him in my life I’m happy with just spending time with him if anybody would like to hear my story with him and how it’s going check it out at https://lovethrobe8.wordpress.com
    I would really like to hear some feedback on my situation

  4. “It’s a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.” -Ulysses Everett McGill, O Brother, Where Art Thou

  5. Emotional hell is right. It’s absolutely the worst thing in the world.

  6. Man did this hit a cord. I couldn’t have said it better
    It is definitely a emotional torture thats for sure !
    Part of me hopes he moves away so the everyday pain of seeing him will stop but the other side of me just can’t let go
    It’s a horrible situation to be in 😢

  7. On god my friend Easton is in high and I have feelings for him and blushes but i really don’t know.

Leave a Reply