I’m A Lesbian Getting Married But… I’m Afraid To Tell My Family

Dear Straight People,

I am a Chindian (Chinese mixed Indian) lesbian living in Singapore engaged to another Chindian lesbian, who is also from Singapore.

Being in love with the most amazing woman is priceless. Getting married to the “one” is more than words can ever describe.

But here’s the plot twist; I am afraid to tell my family that I am getting married.

You can already picture it. A mix of Indian and Chinese parents and relatives at a lesbian wedding. I’m not sure about what picture you cooked up in your head but the scenario in my imagination is one of total chaos.

It’s pretty unfair, that straight couples (not all, I mean racial and religious differences sucks too) can scream out their wedding knowing that everyone in their lives would be so happy to come to know of that news.

But here I am, writing with my heart on my sleeve, afraid to tell my family that I am getting married. No matter how many times I’ve faced rejection in my life, the feeling of rejection still sucks, especially from the ones who mean a lot to you.

My fiancée’s dad indirectly told her, that he wants nothing to do with her, just after knowing she’s gay. I cried when I heard it. She cried too. Being gay may not be a crime. But damn well it feels like it is. And so, I have not had the courage to tell my family yet. I am not ready for the answer.

But I am determined to eventually pluck up the courage to tell them. I got down on my knees for this amazing, beautiful woman. I am not going to put her through the torture of being my “friend” around my family. I don’t want to exclude her from pictures when I’m with my family members.

I don’t want  to hide her. Because honestly, I am proud to call her my fiancée and the world needs to know that. Happiness comes with a price, and I’m ready to pay it. At any cost, for her.

Sometimes, it can be easy to be distracted by the gay people out there, flagging their flags up high – all high and proud. It leads to the illusion that discrimination doesn’t exist for the LGBTQ community anymore.

But for every triumphant coming out story you see on the internet, there are a lot more stories of queer people struggling for acceptance. I don’t feel the need to fly my flag up high. I’m not proud that I’m gay. But I’m proud to be me.

My situation is not an unusual one. There are a lot of same-sex couples out there like me. Too afraid to introduce their partner to their families. Or pretending that their other half is just their ‘friend’. Sad, but the truth.

I shouldn’t have to hide the fact that I am married. If I am going to make her my wife, she’s going to be my wife. She deserves this love. We both do. We all deserve to love.

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