Dear Straight Women,
Your obsession with finding a Gay Best Friend needs to stop! For those of you still in the dark, the Gay Best Friend has become the secret new desire of pretty much every Americanised heterosexual woman out there. In fact, I think it is arguable that Gay Best Friends now rank as high as Prada handbags and fat-free chocolates on every straight woman’s Christmas wish list. Heck, Hollywood even made a movie about just how in demand Gay Best Friends are!
Now I can perfectly understand a straight girl’s desire for Prada handbags and fat-free chocolates. But this weird fetish for wanting a Gay Best Friend is just confusing on so many levels. You see, when you eventually do find your Gay Best Friend, he is going to be very different from what you were expecting. Chances are, the gay people that eventually come into your life are not going to fit into the stereotype of the typical Gay Best Friend.
The stereotypical Gay Best Friend can pretty much be summed up as a real life Ken doll with the personality of a sassy black woman. Urban legends have it that the Gay Best Friend will be every straight girl’s one-stop guide to all of their first world problems. The Gay Best Friend will give straight woman awesome advice on their boy troubles delivered through sassy one-liners. The Gay Best Friend will be able to provide you with valuable fashion tips and be more than willing to check out hot men with you while sipping overpriced coffee at some pretentious café. In summary, the Gay Best Friend is the friend every girl dreams of having, except that it comes with a penis and doesn’t get overly emotional during certain times of the month.
Unfortunately for all you straight women out there; Gay Best Friends don’t all behave like Gay Best Friends. You see, gay men come in a variety of personalities. Most of us don’t fit into the flamboyant sassy stereotype that Hollywood has created. Not all of us enjoy shopping or have good fashion sense. A lot of us give horrible advice when it comes men. Some of us won’t be able to get that Mean Girls reference you just made. And most of us don’t have an inner sassy black woman lurking inside us waiting to come out to provide you with some comic relief.
So while this may come as a surprise to some of you, gay men are actual human beings who just happen to be attracted to the same things that you are. We are not an accessory to pursue, nor are we your sidekicks. Just like you, we are not a material possession to be desired but an actual three-dimensional human being.
So really straight woman, this weird fad of trying to find a Gay Best Friend needs to stop now!
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