I Hate Straight People And This Is Why!

Dear Straight People,

I’ve had enough! For far too long, I’ve had to put up with your heterosexual nonsense but honestly, I don’t think I can deal with you lot anymore. That’s right! If you haven’t guessed it by now, I’m going to spell it out for you; I am heterophobic! And I have very good reason to be heterophobic.

You see, on one hand, you straight people don’t allow us gay people to marry claiming that we are ruining the sanctity of marriage.

And yet on the other hand, straight people do ridiculous things like this…

Source: apcoregalore.tumblr.com
Source: apcoregalore.tumblr.com

I mean seriously straight people? McDonalds??! That’s where broke people bring their first dates to! It is certainly not appropriate for a ceremony as sacred as marriage!

But wait, that’s not the worst of it. In fact, that is merely the beginning of my very long heterophobic rant.

You see, homophobic straight people are always telling me that my homosexual displays of affection are making them uncomfortable. Well, as a heterophobic gay person, I’m sick of being bombarded by your public displays of affection as well.

I mean, I’m sure you can understand why sights like this make me cringe

Source: @bmxerbarak via Instagram
Source: @bmxerbarak via Instagram

Surely, they make you cringe too?

Source: fuckyeahfullofail.tumblr.com
Source: fuckyeahfullofail.tumblr.com via Lamebook.com

I mean, they aren’t just ruining my eyes

Source: awkwardfamilyphotos.com
Source: awkwardfamilyphotos.com

They actually make me feel kind of sick too…

Source: awkwardfamilyphotos.com
Source: awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Ok I’m going to stop posting pictures of heterosexual displays of affection because if I post anymore, I’m pretty sure we will both puke.

But ok, back to the topic.

Apart from ruining the sanctity of marriage and making me nauseous with your public displays of affection, straight people are the reason why the Earth is so damn overpopulated! I mean, everywhere I go, there is a crowd! And it is your fault since you are the ones producing them!

Just look at all these poor people packed into this train in Singapore!

Source: yahoosg.tumblr.com
Source: yahoosg.tumblr.com

The overcrowding issue is so bad some girl even had to invent a device to keep people away!

And you know what, your inability to use a condom properly is the reason why the Earth is dying. As a very noble gay person, I am going to put a stop to your destructive heterosexual lifestyle.

Not only am I going to scold straight people like this awesome dude!

Source: idiotsonfb.tumblr.com
Source: idiotsonfb.tumblr.com

I propose that we ban straight people from marrying each other so that you lot can stop ruining the sanctity of marriage! I also propose to criminalise any sexual activities between straight people to solve the overcrowding issue.

Because honestly, I just can’t handle straight people anymore.

Source: fashionuniproblems.tumblr.com
Source: fashionuniproblems.tumblr.com

And frankly, it is time gay people treated straight people the same way they treat us!

Source: YouTube
Source: YouTube

You might also like to read:

Stop Asking Me Whether I Am A Top Or Bottom

Why Coming Out Is Still A Big Deal In 2015

Dear Gay Men, Let’s Stop Hating Each Other!

If you like what you read, follow us on Twitter and sign up for our mailing list to get the latest updates!

P.S : I do not actually hate straight people. This article was meant to be a satirical piece to illustrate just how unreasonable the homophobic claims made against gay people are.

Advertisements

52 comments

    • The people who agree on this trash are fucking retarded; you “hate” straight people just because a small fucking demographic of them make fun of homosexuals. Where is the logic? Seriously, it’s laughable and ignorant that you fuckers hate straight people (Aka, the majority of the world’s population) because a few are assholes? Saying that you hate straight people is just proving your hypocrisy. Yes, hate all straight people; no one fucking cares about your RETARDED opinions you moronic douches. Seriously, if you hate us so much then why don’t you just hate your favourite actors who are straight. People are born this way, they can’t choose their sexual orientation. I can see why you hate people who spew shit about hating gays, which is fucking horrible, but don’t hate a whole clusteruck of genuine nice people because some are assholes. You writing/agreeing with the article are demonstrating that you’re just as bad.

      Like

      • I think your comments are a contradiction. You say you believe in God, but if you check it out, God stated that your life style is an abomination to him. Sodom and Gomorrah was populated by lgbt people, and they were completely destroyed by the great flood by almighty God, and the only survivors were aboard Noahs Ark. IiAnd that my ill-informed reader is what God thinks of the LBGT people. I can’t help but think about your God who allows your life style. But the God in the Holy Bible hates the LBGT actions, and promises to reward the entire community with fire and brimstone, when he’s Ihad enough. Please know that I am not attacking you, but quoting God’s words directly from the Holy Bible. To be sure, read it for your self in Leviticus chaper 18 verse 22 and leviticus chapter 20, verse 13, also 1st Corinthians chapter 6 verse 9. Again, these are not my words, but the words of Almighty God.

        Like

    • Believe it or not, there are some straight people in this world, who are completely open to the idea of homosexuality. Can you believe that? Some compassionate people who are accepting towards other but aren’t the same as you? Amazing isn’t it.

      Like

  1. Yah the sanctity of marriage one is always great. For some reason the religious nuts that use this line have always had 2-3 different spouses or they are currently cheating on their spouses with someone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it is good that you did this. I’m a fourteen year old straight girl, but seriously. I’m done with the hatred. I don’t want to raise my future child In a world where they aren’t accepted because of their religion, race, or sexual preference. I know the world will never be hate free, but I’m sure we all wish it would. I dislike the hypocritical people on this earth. They will whine because someone says something derogatory to them and then do the same thing in retaliation. It’s insane. The world is sick. I’m really sad none of my other friends can see that because if they could, maybe we (the youth) could change things. *sigh*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It took you long enough to admit it. I knew this all along. That’s why you are quick to attack Christians because of your own hate. Sorry to tell you but a Christian is not you. They are warning you because they sincerely don’t want you to be cast into the Lake of Fire and Brimstone. Ignoring them doesn’t seem possible, so good luck because they have the freedom of speech and religion. And the Lord is coming soon, whether you believe it or like it.

    Like

    • Acting self righteous is not an act of love. Yahweh is no more real than all the other Gods throughout the ages. Many of them being much older than him. Leave gays alone and let them love who they want to love, you are responsible for YOU, not for anyone else (unless you’re one of their parents or paid to provide them care)

      Like

  4. Just one question, I know that this was just written to show the anti-homophobic people in this world. I actually have quite a few friends that are gay/lesbian. But if homosexual would become the majority, I think these problems would still exist. I think that someone’s sexuality won’t change their personality. So I think that stupid stuff like this would still be happening around the world, gay or straight

    Like

  5. 35 yo straight guy here (happily married and adding to the population), this made me laugh! You did a great job at highlighting how ridiculous (and how very harmful) the hate can be. I eagerly await the day when people can stop categorizing everybody and just accept that love is love it just makes me sad that this day is such a long way off…

    I’m proud that my little girls just accept everyone and everything, when my oldest girl was 7, she was playing with her toys (Monster High or Ever After High… I don’t know) with one of her friends, she was having a wedding for two of the girls. The little boy reacted with the whole “Two girls can’t get married! That’s gross!” but my little girl did me proud with her response; she said, in her typically self-assured manner with hands on hips:

    “Yes they can! Anybody can love anybody and they can get married if they want to! In my story they’re in love and they’re getting married!”

    The boy was stunned, so before it could escalate (in the typical 7 year old manner), I had to step in and explain to him that in our household we don’t judge other people by who they love, we judge them by their actions, and that we accept and acknowledge all people for who they are. He gets it now, it was very refreshing to see the light turn on.

    TL;DR: People love who they love, even children can understand and accept that… if we teach them.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You got your equal rights and now your bitching about straight people lol I don’t have a problem with gays and I’m straight. You really need to be more open minded. This is true Ignorants lol

    Like

  7. I’m a real christian and I don’t support homosexuality but i won’t discriminate against people. God hates the sin and the people that practice the sin. Gay is disgusting and a sin it’s an abomination. Gay isn’t a natural. People chose to be gay and sin. Repent and ask God to help you. Or you will suffer hell. God won’t be mocked, God doesn’t change and he is always the same.

    Like

    • I’m not scared of your little bitch of a manchild “God” Yahweh (more like Subway). He’ll likely kill all innocents anyway, like he did in the Bible. He is very evil, and even if he exists, I will never bow to him unless he changed his evil ways. Good does not bow to evil, not EVER!

      Like

      • Jason Caternolo
        your a fucking idiot

        “good does not bow to evil”
        i can see why abortions are made legal in usa
        because ignorants like you dont deserve to live

        stand the fuck up you ignorant piece of shit
        if you wanna be a fucking athiest
        then dont be a fucking asshole and ruin the athiest reputation
        god is never evil

        the only evil here is satan
        i wouldnt be surprise if satan welcomes you in the gates of hell

        Like

    • Oh how special you are to know more about the afterlife than others… the only thing you know for sure is that deep down you’re not sure if you’re right about the whole “heaven/hell” thing. You’re unsure, deep down, you “REPENT” are not sure, so remember that when your time comes –

      Like

  8. Bigots, what ya get when you mix a fag and a bigot….fagot of course. Who gives a s**t who you f*”ck? Nobody, nobody but you, leave people alone, hypocrite is an understatement….and before you start your s**t. Yeah it’s ” satire” but not really. Another thing, to whom it may concern , you probably don’t wanna reply , because much like your bung….it will open something that can’t be closed….hint..look up a guy named Israel Keyes….please don’t…I don’t want to but I won’t be able to stop

    Like

  9. You hate straight people yet you couldn’t exist without us. You hate straight people because you have a wicked heart who wants everything YOUR way instead of God’s way and you bully anyone who disagrees with you no matter how loving they are to you. Newsflash” REAL loving Christians are not going to lie to you and be a stumbling block to your salvation by telling you that “being gay is okay” which a lie, because that kind of thing WILL cause you to PERISH in the afterlife. Real Christians also aren’t going to kowtow to you or kiss your butt in any way by pretending we agree with you when you’re wrong and out to harm yourself. We fear God not YOU. Just sayin. You will NEVER get to judge me on judgment day but my Heavenly Father will.

    Like

  10. I’m sorry if you feel that way but you have to understand not all straight people hate Gays, although i know a few who do hate gays with a passion. people are entitled to believe what they want and your entitled to fuck/suck whoever you want it’s none of anyone else’s business but your own. i have gay friends of both sex and i support them if they want to get married or adopt children this world needs more acceptance and less hate.

    Like

  11. i think you’re really right about this
    thank you! someone gets it!
    when you talk about over crowded cities and places because straight people produce them, I like to add that many children in Africa die, why? they’re produced to die from disease?
    straight people should stop marrying and producing, the earth will live more if they do
    🙂

    Like

    • Words cannot express how fucking stupid that comment and this article is. If people didn’t marry and have happy families you would be DEAD! Are you saying that little boys and girls of all ages should be gone because you don’t agree with how they were born?! Because if so, I’m sorry but you need to rethink your stance on this situation and stop being such a fucking hypocrite! I’m fine with gay couples! In fact I even support allowing gay rights! But this?! This is just disgusting and makes me want to stop supporting gay rights! You people make me sick, and by “you people” I don’t mean all gays. I mean the ones that are so prideful of themselves that they feel the need to make an article about how they hate the people that made them. I hope your parents read this article, I’m sure they would love it

      Like

  12. Wtf is wrong with you people you have mind that is totally insane without any for of maturity or understanding of anything, you bigots with hate who would gladly kill purge destroy and delete your own selves from the face of the earth. You make me sick to my souls, in fact you are so far gone, that your soul is dead completely gone, you make me sick and disgusted you fucking bigots and hypocrites

    Like

  13. I’ve made lots of straight people friends after moving to a new region in California 15 years ago. My partner (now my wife) has done the same. What we found is that most of these straight women that we have befriended hate their husbands. They can’t wait for their husbands to die so that they’ll be rid of them and they get to keep all their money. They cheat on their husbands with other men. They stay with their husbands only so that they won’t be left moneyless or homeless. The husbands are no better..they have propositioned us. When they get drunk they ask if we’ll “do” their wives. These are all Christian people that we have met at Christian organizations and charities. Straight people seem to have no morals.
    My wife and I have been together for 23 years. We have a monogamous relationship. We have always honored and respected other people and their relationships.
    No more. We are so done. Straight people are disgusting.

    Like

  14. Um … I’m a straight girl and I totally agree with the reasons you gave to hate straights, however, why am I grouped with some narcissist delusional ones (mostly psycho straight men) out there who robbed many groups of their basic rights (gays, women, blacks, immigrants, animals …) when I deeply have always supported no discrimination based on sexual orientation and I genuinely feel ashamed of the human race for even thinking that it has the right to make decisions for other living beings as well? I actually wish I was gay cause the idea of me being with a girl makes a lot more sense to me that some guy that I’d probably start hating with a passion in a couple of days …
    Not to mention that I always wished I’d be surrounded by people who actually use their brains (hasn’t exactly came true so far) and many minorities seem to qualify for that (with some exceptions) including gay people who need to basically plan for their lives mostly on their own, without the society making them some brainless zombies to just grow up, get married, have 100000 kids, abuse everyone around them, etc. , and if I held any authority one of the things I’d immediately do would be legalizing marriage for any uncommitted adult and granting gay people the right to adopt like how a straight individual has that right, and imposing some serious ban on anyone degrading anyone else based on their sexual preference, gender, race, nationality, etc. and encourage everyone to focus on the quality of their relationships and to be more careful about having kids if they can’t raise them properly. So how come you see me as those nutcases out there who made you think that way?

    Like

  15. Oh and I’m born and raised in an unbelievably backward society where even talking about homosexuality is treated like a crime … and that’s kinda the case in my family as well …

    Like

  16. And if this helps at all, everyone already knows that everyone by default are equal, those who promote some people being robbed of their rights are just weak cowards who are just kidding themselves so that they can justify their disgusting behavior to gain some undue advantage over that group, similar to how men desperately try to keep women from their rights to increase their chances of having the upper hand, cause they are too afraid of women being put on an equal platform and winning from them in a blink of an eye … hope that decreases your anger a bit.

    Like

  17. Lol, these idiots didn’t read the whole article. The disclaimer at the end of the article says that this was all satire. They don’t actually hate straight people.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Stop. Right. There. There are 8 billions people on Earth. Everyone is different. There are actually straight people who love gays and accept them. Straight people (And LGBT people) can be fun and goofy. Are you seriously hating every straight person just because a minority of them are homophobic? Then sadly, I have to say; You are fucking ignorant and retarded. You are the most immoral and disgusting person than any straight, or gay, asexual person I’ve ever seen. Cheers!

      Like

    • No, babies are disgusting, let’s all be gay so there’s no more babies and we can go extinct. You’re born through a heterosexual relationship, so you are disgusting. And animals are hetero’s, and they are disgusting.

      Like

  18. I know this was satire but personally seeing other straight people who feel the need to constantly make out in public is a bit much for me. Just excessive straightness, that’s not okay.

    Like

  19. I’m gay, I’m sick of the ignorance(coming across as arrogance) of many of the straight people I’ve known, grown up with, been related to…inlaws, all loudly and sloppily displaying a comfort level we aren’t afforded. They do seem at times to want us to be a “gay” version of them too, it’s reeeeeally annoying and I don’t hang out to witness it – HOWEVER, there are also a huge amount of straight people doing more for gay rights than many of the gay people I’ve known over the years. As a gay guy I’ve met as many gay D-bags as I have straight D-bags. I know it’s rough to speak up in many circumstances when you can’t because it might cost you your life or you might get injured. I got bashed physically on the job, injured pretty badly but it wasn’t considered a hate crime yet so they got away with it – As far as the arrogant brainwashed people like “REPENT” a few comments up, please, you can keep your “concern” for us and use it elsewhere, worry about whether you’re wrong and maybe it’s you who will be burning in some sort of hell because your conscience is all you have left in the last minutes of your life when it’s too late to change. Oh how special you are to know more about the afterlife than others… the only thing you know for sure is that deep down you’re not sure if you’re right about the whole “heaven/hell” thing. You’re unsure, deep down, you “REPENT” are not sure, so remember that when your time comes –

    Like

  20. Treat othsr how you wanted to be treated.. eh you are gay so i guess you like to royally fuck everyone in the ass.. i miss the days where faggets would get hanges.. see that wpuld be hate if i meant that you came from a straight couple. No more addoption for gays now either since no more children will be born.. fuck off ans burn in hell you cocking sucking (litterally) piece of shit. I hope tou die a violwnt lonely death.

    Like

  21. Ok Frist of all I have no problem with gay people second this does not prove anything and thrid gay or bio people do this all the time too! My Girl friend is Bio for the love of God! And yes I agree straight people can be mean but look at what your doing your giving it back. Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s